More Carolina Pictures

So I have started feeding her cereal and she is doing pretty good. I thought she looked so cute all messy so I took a few pictures. Also we are hopefully going to be closing on our house the beginning of next week, hopefully!! CAN'T WAIT!!!

Russia Pictures

Carolina Pictures!

So its been forever sense we have been on our blog to check it or write on it. But this blog is for Krissy. I have been telling her I would post pictures of Carolina and have kept forgetting. Sorry Krissy! So we just got back from our trip to Russia. It was wonderful, we went on a river cruise down the volga. We started in Moscow, we were there for 3 days, then we went on and stopped at a different cities each day; Uglich, Yoroslavl, Goritzy, Kizhi, Mandrogy, and 3 days in St. Petersburg. Then after Russia we took a train to Helsinki Finland for about 3 days. Russia and Finland are so different and it was pretty neat to be able to take a train and see the different change as we went through the country. Seth and I fell in love with Helsinki, it is such a beautiful city. The people there are so friendly and almost everyone speaks perfect english, especially the younger generation. We asked a girl in a museum and she said they are required to start taking english classes right when they start school, so about 5 years old. We went with my brother Jeff and his wife and my parents. Carolina stayed with Seth's sister for a week and with Peggy Carter for a week. She did just great, it was me that had a hard time. It was such a busy trip that having a baby on it would not have worked, especially a baby that naps multiple times a day. We got back and it seemed she had double in size. She is up to 14 almost 15 pounds and doing just great, just as cute and perfect as ever. She smiles at everyone and laughs, I love every second of it. Well I will post some pictures of our trip and then some of her. She is 4 months old and some of the pictures are about a month old. She has gotten so big so I will try and find some more recent ones. Hope all is well with everyone!! OH, We are in the process of buying a house. We are still doing inspections but it has been accepted. Good News!!

The Hansons (not to be confused with the creator of the muppets, Henson)

They always tell me to post, so I do, and they don't even tell me how beautiful my daughter is. That strange smell that you all can sense is the smell of burning indignation. This is how I feel about that, Infidels!

It's about time

Since Janette doesn't think that anyone should see our daughter, I thought I would come on here and put some pictures up.




There she is for all the world to see. She sure is cute.

SHOW US PICTURES OF JANETTE!!!!

Every time I post I get a flood of emails or IM's or comments on the post and even a few phone calls from people wanting to see pictures of Janette pregnant. Now, while I would love to oblige, I feel that these people really just want to see a pregnant woman! It's a wonderful phenomenon in our society, we have this uncontrollable fascination with pregnant ladies. So in this post, I am going to oblige. I am going to give them what they want....... PREGNANT PICS!!!

First up on our proverbial visit to Willy Wonka's factory, is a picture of a fan fav, Nicole Ritchie!!!

And since Britney gets jealous if we don't give her face time, here she is!

Now from what I can tell, this DUDE is actually pregnant. That is absolutely disgusting.

And based on the picture posted, we can safely assume he is not using this.

Since we love animals we have to show this picture of a pregnant Hamster! Or maybe it's a circus balloon....

Continuing the theme of animal love, this was rather humorous.

And still more pregnant animals. Look at those arms! It's revolting! Psst! It's another dude!

Now, since we don't discriminate here at the Jefferies Blog, here is a pregnant African American woman.

Furthering our case for not discriminating, isn't this pregnant Oriental couple just adorable? It's amazing that both men AND women can get pregnant in Asia? Do you suppose that the first pregnant guy had his operation done by Kim Jong-Il's doctor?

Ahora (that's Spanish for "now") since you all have put up with me, here she is...
*cue Clay Aiken song "Isn't She Lovely"*




THAT WAS FUN!

A Historic Day, February 17, 2009

In a wholly unprecedented change from the previous several years, and in a move that I am sure most Americans will remember either for better or for worse, today was a historic day. Today just happened to be the day, that right here in Denver, the Mile High City, I watched almost an entire American Idol episode. Without complaining, I might add! AND, I learned something.
I learned that I could be a judge on that show. I heard a twenty-two year old male of arabian descent sing "Angel of Mine", a song originally sung by an African American woman, Monica (he may has well have sang "The Boy is Mine" it was so gay); a fashionista caucasian female sang "Every Little Thing She Does is Magic" and substitute "he" for "she" (this was so terrible that words can't even begin to describe it); a very hip young african american male sang something really forgettable by Michael Jackson (whose indefinable gender is well known, but I think he is something like an adolescent girl with all the hormonal changes he must experience daily. I'm sorry, that was very sexist and insensitive of me); a caucasian christian church choir directing male sang "Hero", a song originally performed by Mariah Carey (a woman who to this day I don't know if she is caucasian or african american, but she dated Derek Jeter, who interestingly enough, I don't know what race he is either) and they finished up their quality programming with a latina from Puerto Rico whose last name mean "of the bull" who sang "Saving All My Love For You", originally performed by the wonderfully african american female, Whitney Houston (who after she married Bobby Brown ended up looking like she had been in a bull fight for the rest of her life). After all these very talented, very confused young people sang their part, I accurately predicted what the judges would say!
Randy Jackson, the whitest black guy on earth would call the singer "Dog" and then complain that he didn't know who they were as a performer. The new judge, who heaven help me I have never seen in my life, would agree with whatever Randy said. Paula with her massive, unplucked eyebrows straight off of Debbie Gibsons 1988 face would try and make the person feel better about themselves and would ultimately come out looking like she has vodka in her giant red coca-cola cup, and Simon, the only reason to watch the show, with his horrid man-breasts would systematically breakdown the persons spirit. Now I know that this is not news to anyone that has ever seen the show, so it brings me to my point.
WHY, after something like 6 years are we watching this show. WHY is it getting more popular? WHY is this considered entertainment. I have never sat down and watched the show, and I KNOW how it will play out! We need more quality programming, like The Colbert Report or Scrubs or Too Close For Comfort! History will be made twice today. I am officially declaring reality television, in all it's forms, dead. Today is the day that Reality TV will begin it's decline into history to take it's place alongside other such fantastic fads as highwater jeans, pink cadillacs, disco music and those mesh tank tops that guys in the 80's used to wear. I am tired of seeing how "real" people react on "live" television. And, YES, American Idol falls into this category. So, America, today will be the proverbial "gun shot heard round the world" and you will forever remember February 17, 2009 as the day that your television viewing experience changed.
Oh, and also the day that some guy signed some irrelevant bill or something. But that's a story for a different day.

Yellow Shirts, Google and Anger Management

And stimulus packages! I am so glad that for the last week I have been told by a VERY reliable source (the advertisements on the side of my facebook page) that Obama himself might show up on my doorstep and hand me a minimum of $12,000 dollars to pay all of my outstanding debt. HOORAY FLAMING LIBERALISM!!! I mean, with a minimum of $12,000 dollars I will have no more worries in my life. I can pay my Home Depot, Gap, Target, Joseph A. Bank, Whole Foods, Sinclair and Bank of America lines of credit! (On a totally unrelated note, when I was in high school I got a job telemarketing. One night I spoke to a lady that told me that she had over $3500 dollars in credit card debt on a Victoria's Secret card. That seemed unacceptable to me. On ANOTHER unrelated note, at the same job a man with the last name of Fivekiller asked a co-worker of mine the address of our work so he could find her and kill her. But don't worry! Along with a stimulus package we are also passing laws to outlaw self protection. No more "Make My Day" laws. HOORAY SOCIALISM!!!) Once my outstanding debt is paid, the world will be rosy. Forget the fact that we have already exceeded a trillion dollars of national debt, we want to spend another trillion! 335,000,000 of which will be used to educate us on how to not contract STD's! The think tank of the United States is clearly, head and shoulders above the rest of the world. If only those dang Europeans could figure out the concept of abstinence then they wouldn't all be viral breeding grounds. Maybe we should include them in our 335,000,000 dollar venture. That being said, I suppose that I should talk about Janette, since she is getting mad at me and all.
And speaking of getting mad, since she got pregnant all she does is hit me! "Hey, get me some milk!" WHACK! "I'm going to the bathroom." WHACK! "Let's watch Lost tonight." WHACK!!! And anyone that knows Janette knows that she had these tendencies previous to her pregnancy, but little Carolina has somehow magnified her emotions and turned her into a Red Hot Ball of Fury. I can't even lie down in bed next to her without some rude comment. "Turn the lights out, stupid." "Open the window you worthless pile of flesh." Have I done anything to deserve this? Honestly? I think it's a bit excessive but the lady that taught the birthing class says "This is normal for her to be a bit emotional." A BIT? Do my individually broken fingers look like she was a BIT emotional?
And how about that lady. What a wiece of perk. I'm alright with people laughing at their own jokes, BUT ONLY IF IT'S LEGITIMATELY FUNNY! This lady was about as funny as wall paper and she giggled at every "joke" that she made. It's preposterous to me as well that this lady had to have a degree to teach that class. I think I could have taught all of the same things after reading a pamphlet in a waiting room. Not to be overly rude but the whole process was extremely unnecessary. (Janette just disagreed. "IT WAS TOO NECESSARY YOU SLOB!!!" WHACK!)
And now for what everyone has been waiting for. Six weeks left. Time is just about up! We have bags upon bags of free baby clothes. A huge bonus for us. We have the car seat that snaps into a base for the car AND the stroller. We have the rocker swing and the bouncy chair and the bathing tub and the co-sleeper and I am making a crib and everything is just peaches. The only thing we don't have is a little kid to keep us awake late at night. Six weeks and we'll have that too. We are excited. And scared. We stay awake at night with uncontrollable urination between the two of them. Just six more weeks...
Maybe we will post again between now and then, maybe not. Just depends on if Janette lets me.