Jefferies Family

More Carolina Pictures

2009-08-14T14:05:00.001-07:00

So I have started feeding her cereal and she is doing pretty good. I thought she looked so cute all messy so I took a few pictures. Also we are hopefully going to be closing on our house the beginning of next week, hopefully!! CAN'T WAIT!!!

Russia Pictures

2009-08-01T13:22:00.001-07:00

Carolina Pictures!

2009-08-01T12:38:00.000-07:00

So its been forever sense we have been on our blog to check it or write on it. But this blog is for Krissy. I have been telling her I would post pictures of Carolina and have kept forgetting. Sorry Krissy! So we just got back from our trip to Russia. It was wonderful, we went on a river cruise down the volga. We started in Moscow, we were there for 3 days, then we went on and stopped at a different cities each day; Uglich, Yoroslavl, Goritzy, Kizhi, Mandrogy, and 3 days in St. Petersburg. Then after Russia we took a train to Helsinki Finland for about 3 days. Russia and Finland are so different and it was pretty neat to be able to take a train and see the different change as we went through the country. Seth and I fell in love with Helsinki, it is such a beautiful city. The people there are so friendly and almost everyone speaks perfect english, especially the younger generation. We asked a girl in a museum and she said they are required to start taking english classes right when they start school, so about 5 years old. We went with my brother Jeff and his wife and my parents. Carolina stayed with Seth's sister for a week and with Peggy Carter for a week. She did just great, it was me that had a hard time. It was such a busy trip that having a baby on it would not have worked, especially a baby that naps multiple times a day. We got back and it seemed she had double in size. She is up to 14 almost 15 pounds and doing just great, just as cute and perfect as ever. She smiles at everyone and laughs, I love every second of it. Well I will post some pictures of our trip and then some of her. She is 4 months old and some of the pictures are about a month old. She has gotten so big so I will try and find some more recent ones. Hope all is well with everyone!! OH, We are in the process of buying a house. We are still doing inspections but it has been accepted. Good News!!

The Hansons (not to be confused with the creator of the muppets, Henson)

2009-05-22T22:38:00.001-07:00

They always tell me to post, so I do, and they don't even tell me how beautiful my daughter is. That strange smell that you all can sense is the smell of burning indignation. This is how I feel about that, Infidels!

It's about time

2009-05-20T19:13:00.000-07:00

Since Janette doesn't think that anyone should see our daughter, I thought I would come on here and put some pictures up.

There she is for all the world to see. She sure is cute.

SHOW US PICTURES OF JANETTE!!!!

2009-03-02T19:07:00.000-08:00

Every time I post I get a flood of emails or IM's or comments on the post and even a few phone calls from people wanting to see pictures of Janette pregnant. Now, while I would love to oblige, I feel that these people really just want to see a pregnant woman! It's a wonderful phenomenon in our society, we have this uncontrollable fascination with pregnant ladies. So in this post, I am going to oblige. I am going to give them what they want....... PREGNANT PICS!!!

First up on our proverbial visit to Willy Wonka's factory, is a picture of a fan fav, Nicole Ritchie!!!

And since Britney gets jealous if we don't give her face time, here she is!

Now from what I can tell, this DUDE is actually pregnant. That is absolutely disgusting.

And based on the picture posted, we can safely assume he is not using this.

Since we love animals we have to show this picture of a pregnant Hamster! Or maybe it's a circus balloon....

Continuing the theme of animal love, this was rather humorous.

And still more pregnant animals. Look at those arms! It's revolting! Psst! It's another dude!

Now, since we don't discriminate here at the Jefferies Blog, here is a pregnant African American woman.

Furthering our case for not discriminating, isn't this pregnant Oriental couple just adorable? It's amazing that both men AND women can get pregnant in Asia? Do you suppose that the first pregnant guy had his operation done by Kim Jong-Il's doctor?

Ahora (that's Spanish for "now") since you all have put up with me, here she is...
*cue Clay Aiken song "Isn't She Lovely"*

THAT WAS FUN!

A Historic Day, February 17, 2009

2009-02-17T21:23:00.000-08:00

In a wholly unprecedented change from the previous several years, and in a move that I am sure most Americans will remember either for better or for worse, today was a historic day. Today just happened to be the day, that right here in Denver, the Mile High City, I watched almost an entire American Idol episode. Without complaining, I might add! AND, I learned something.
I learned that I could be a judge on that show. I heard a twenty-two year old male of arabian descent sing "Angel of Mine", a song originally sung by an African American woman, Monica (he may has well have sang "The Boy is Mine" it was so gay); a fashionista caucasian female sang "Every Little Thing She Does is Magic" and substitute "he" for "she" (this was so terrible that words can't even begin to describe it); a very hip young african american male sang something really forgettable by Michael Jackson (whose indefinable gender is well known, but I think he is something like an adolescent girl with all the hormonal changes he must experience daily. I'm sorry, that was very sexist and insensitive of me); a caucasian christian church choir directing male sang "Hero", a song originally performed by Mariah Carey (a woman who to this day I don't know if she is caucasian or african american, but she dated Derek Jeter, who interestingly enough, I don't know what race he is either) and they finished up their quality programming with a latina from Puerto Rico whose last name mean "of the bull" who sang "Saving All My Love For You", originally performed by the wonderfully african american female, Whitney Houston (who after she married Bobby Brown ended up looking like she had been in a bull fight for the rest of her life). After all these very talented, very confused young people sang their part, I accurately predicted what the judges would say!
Randy Jackson, the whitest black guy on earth would call the singer "Dog" and then complain that he didn't know who they were as a performer. The new judge, who heaven help me I have never seen in my life, would agree with whatever Randy said. Paula with her massive, unplucked eyebrows straight off of Debbie Gibsons 1988 face would try and make the person feel better about themselves and would ultimately come out looking like she has vodka in her giant red coca-cola cup, and Simon, the only reason to watch the show, with his horrid man-breasts would systematically breakdown the persons spirit. Now I know that this is not news to anyone that has ever seen the show, so it brings me to my point.
WHY, after something like 6 years are we watching this show. WHY is it getting more popular? WHY is this considered entertainment. I have never sat down and watched the show, and I KNOW how it will play out! We need more quality programming, like The Colbert Report or Scrubs or Too Close For Comfort! History will be made twice today. I am officially declaring reality television, in all it's forms, dead. Today is the day that Reality TV will begin it's decline into history to take it's place alongside other such fantastic fads as highwater jeans, pink cadillacs, disco music and those mesh tank tops that guys in the 80's used to wear. I am tired of seeing how "real" people react on "live" television. And, YES, American Idol falls into this category. So, America, today will be the proverbial "gun shot heard round the world" and you will forever remember February 17, 2009 as the day that your television viewing experience changed.
Oh, and also the day that some guy signed some irrelevant bill or something. But that's a story for a different day.

Yellow Shirts, Google and Anger Management

2009-02-05T17:12:00.000-08:00

And stimulus packages! I am so glad that for the last week I have been told by a VERY reliable source (the advertisements on the side of my facebook page) that Obama himself might show up on my doorstep and hand me a minimum of $12,000 dollars to pay all of my outstanding debt. HOORAY FLAMING LIBERALISM!!! I mean, with a minimum of $12,000 dollars I will have no more worries in my life. I can pay my Home Depot, Gap, Target, Joseph A. Bank, Whole Foods, Sinclair and Bank of America lines of credit! (On a totally unrelated note, when I was in high school I got a job telemarketing. One night I spoke to a lady that told me that she had over $3500 dollars in credit card debt on a Victoria's Secret card. That seemed unacceptable to me. On ANOTHER unrelated note, at the same job a man with the last name of Fivekiller asked a co-worker of mine the address of our work so he could find her and kill her. But don't worry! Along with a stimulus package we are also passing laws to outlaw self protection. No more "Make My Day" laws. HOORAY SOCIALISM!!!) Once my outstanding debt is paid, the world will be rosy. Forget the fact that we have already exceeded a trillion dollars of national debt, we want to spend another trillion! 335,000,000 of which will be used to educate us on how to not contract STD's! The think tank of the United States is clearly, head and shoulders above the rest of the world. If only those dang Europeans could figure out the concept of abstinence then they wouldn't all be viral breeding grounds. Maybe we should include them in our 335,000,000 dollar venture. That being said, I suppose that I should talk about Janette, since she is getting mad at me and all.
And speaking of getting mad, since she got pregnant all she does is hit me! "Hey, get me some milk!" WHACK! "I'm going to the bathroom." WHACK! "Let's watch Lost tonight." WHACK!!! And anyone that knows Janette knows that she had these tendencies previous to her pregnancy, but little Carolina has somehow magnified her emotions and turned her into a Red Hot Ball of Fury. I can't even lie down in bed next to her without some rude comment. "Turn the lights out, stupid." "Open the window you worthless pile of flesh." Have I done anything to deserve this? Honestly? I think it's a bit excessive but the lady that taught the birthing class says "This is normal for her to be a bit emotional." A BIT? Do my individually broken fingers look like she was a BIT emotional?
And how about that lady. What a wiece of perk. I'm alright with people laughing at their own jokes, BUT ONLY IF IT'S LEGITIMATELY FUNNY! This lady was about as funny as wall paper and she giggled at every "joke" that she made. It's preposterous to me as well that this lady had to have a degree to teach that class. I think I could have taught all of the same things after reading a pamphlet in a waiting room. Not to be overly rude but the whole process was extremely unnecessary. (Janette just disagreed. "IT WAS TOO NECESSARY YOU SLOB!!!" WHACK!)
And now for what everyone has been waiting for. Six weeks left. Time is just about up! We have bags upon bags of free baby clothes. A huge bonus for us. We have the car seat that snaps into a base for the car AND the stroller. We have the rocker swing and the bouncy chair and the bathing tub and the co-sleeper and I am making a crib and everything is just peaches. The only thing we don't have is a little kid to keep us awake late at night. Six weeks and we'll have that too. We are excited. And scared. We stay awake at night with uncontrollable urination between the two of them. Just six more weeks...
Maybe we will post again between now and then, maybe not. Just depends on if Janette lets me.

Love the Christmas Season

2008-12-21T18:06:00.000-08:00

I know this may sound a bit different to everyone and the reason for that is because for the first time in forever seth is not the one posting this note. Seth is playing with his xbox and I just finished putting together some potpouri on the stove. I decided to sit down and say hello while we are waiting for our Home teachers to come over. The lights, decorations, the smells, the goodies, the Christmas stories, Family get togethers and the true meaning of Christmas are just a few things why I love this time of year. It really makes you sit back and think about life and maybe areas that you need to do better. I do not have a way with words like my honey does but hopefully you all get the gist of what i am saying. It is even more fun this year being able to stay home and decorate our own tree and put up our own decorations and just spend this time together and begin our own family traditions. Not that we really have a ton but that will change as time goes by. Seth and I are staying in Denver for Christmas and spending the day with his wonderful family. I could not have asked for better in-laws, I have truely been blessed in every way possible. Well to update you on what has happened sense Thanksgiving....nothing!! We work everyday and thats about it. We are preparing for our little girl to come and are both incredibly exciting about that new step in our lives. Yes a bit nervous of course but ready! Well I don't really have a whole lot to say except i hope everyone has a very Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year.

A slightly belated Happy Thanksgiving...

2008-12-07T07:32:00.000-08:00

There is nothing like the fun you can have when you are not at work. A drive to St. George which took a full hour less than we thought it would. Two mystery novels by Mary Higgins Clark in which, surprisingly, the culprit was NOT the person that you may have originally suspected. Some quality time with family. A salad that nobody really liked except for me. All in all, the Thanksgiving holiday was good for us. However, uneventful, it was not.
Everything was very good until Saturday afternoon. We put together a few puzzles, enjoyed a drive over to Price (not by Helper. By Bloomington, actually), a quick run over to the petroglyphs, a few football games and a Nuggets game where they really let me down.

But it was that dang trip to Tuacahn that got it all started. We went to Tuacahn because James had never been before. For those who don't know what Tuacahn is, it's a great theater built right into the mouth of a canyon in St. George. The back drop is a cliff wall, and even though it's a small theater, it's very cool. Seats about 400-500, and since it's outside, solid concrete steps. well it was one of those concrete steps that got the best of poor Isaac. Isaac's four, and like any four year old, he enjoys racing. Well, the stairs, like those of any theater are longer than normal stairs. I watched, seemingly frozen in place as he told Janette that he wanted to race, tried to take a step, caught the toe of his shoe and went down. He just couldn't get his hands up quick enough and the only thing that broke his fall were his teeth. There was nothing Janette or I could do. Or anybody for that matter. I was about 10 stairs up from him, Janette was carrying Gracie, James, Joanna, Mom and Dad were on the other side of the theater. Needless to say, he cried a lot, and bled a lot.
That's Isaac there. Poor guy ended up with a fat lip, a bunch of bruising, a cut on his lip, and a cracked tooth! He was a real trooper though. After the initial shock he only let out a few whimpers and by the time we got home he actually was eating. He couldn't leave the dang thing alone though and kept messing with it with his tongue. Apparently the nerve doesn't even extend halfway down the tooth in baby teeth, so I guess he probably could not feel it anyway.
When all was said and done, he had the very fantastic profile of a "Who"
Well after all of the fun of bashing faces and losing teeth, the time came for us to leave. Luckily we had filled our tank the night before, and prepared ourselves to fill our proverbial tanks with Mtn. Dew and other such fun road trip treats. Leaving St. George around 10:30 in the morning we made our way north through Cedar City, and just the other side of Cedar I saw the wonderful billboard for www.parowanprophet.com. Just past Beaver we got on to I-70 and smooth sailing from there right to our Exit on C-470 and Alameda, right? WRONG!!!

That's not Vail. It's just outside of Glenwood Springs and the only reason its included is to show why we didn't know that vail was closed. It was absolutely BEAUTIFUL on the west side of Vail Pass. It was from there on that things got rough. What kind of winter crap is this that on the Sunday after Thanksgiving there is so much snow at Vail that they have to close the highway. Well, luckily at Glenwood Springs we found out, and we could at least find a hotel to stay in, so stop we had to and stop we did.

Ever heard of America's Best Value Inn? Me either. But it's fairly clean, and fairly nice. So we stopped, and we stayed, and goll dearned if we didn't actually kind of enjoy it.

Just the other side of that truck is our charming little room. We tried to find a movie, but believe it or not, nothing is showing in a town of 278 people (that's an augmented dramatization. It's slightly larger.)
We stayed the night, we got up early, grabbed a bite to eat and hit the road. And it was messy. And it was not fun. But we got home safe and hear I sit a week later, telling you our incredibly fun Thanksgiving story. Hope you all had a good one too.

Should I Vomit NOW or LATER?

2008-11-18T19:11:00.000-08:00

I am sick and tired of this, so I have to chime in.
Protests, complaints, threats, property damage and all done by the "forward thinking", peace loving, open minded left wing activists.
Now don’t get me wrong, other than the protests I think that gay people are not involved in the majority of this. I know too many of them to think that they are threatening bodily harm on someone else, for the most part.
I do, however blame these far left Marxists who are so very "open-minded" that they actually are trying to stifle the LDS church and its right to speak out on its beliefs. The LDS church knocked doors, the Marxists battered ours in. The LDS church used a grassroots approach; the Marxists burned books of Mormon in our grass. The church voiced their belief, and the Marxists are now trying to silence our voice.
Tell me now, how burning a book of Mormon in front of a church is so very different than burning a cross in someone’s yard. The only difference I see is at least the people that burned crosses had the guts to stand up and say "It was us. We did it." These cowardly activists do their damage, use their intimidation tactics and then run.
I have so many problems with this but will only address a few of them.
1) Since when are we "close minded conservatives" no longer allowed to disagree? For years our nation’s democratic process has established laws and amended the constitution. Some laws pass, some don’t, but that does not mean there will never be another chance to pass legislation. Do like we do when we get beat. Suck it up, formulate a new plan and try again another year. I honestly cannot think of a single occasion when a conservative law was defeated that we protested, but every time these socialists do not get their way, they act like spoiled children and cry until we tire of hearing them and cave. It’s absurd! I have better than a dozen nieces and nephews all under the age of fourteen who are more mature than this.
2) I am very curious how these activists want religious conservatives to allow them their rights when ours are being systematically taken away. Religious displays have been so reduced in the last ten years that I am just waiting for the day that the government gathers all religious literature, all religious displays and bans them. And this is not just happening to Christians. The city of Golden Colorado just told a rabbi that he could not place a menorah next to the cities Christmas tree so that Jewish people would not feel left out during the Christmas season. Their reason? "We don’t want the holiday season to be religious." IT’S CHRISTMAS!!! Christ-mas. It’s a Christian holiday for us to celebrate our beliefs! People get time off of work and school BECAUSE OF THE CHRISTIAN HOLIDAY!!!! And we really would not begrudge a menorah to our Jewish brethren because it’s a holiday season for the Jews too! But the liberal left has decided that the mere mention of the word "God" is so offensive that any display must not be tolerated. It's my experience that when I am so sensitive about things is when I guilty of doing something. For example, when I was a teenager, if I was acting like an idiot and someone mentioned my parents, I would immediately become defensive and tell them I did not want to talk about my parents. Is it my fault that people are perhaps not living in a way that makes them feel GOOD when we discuss religion? I'm not responsible for whatever guilty feelings the Liberal Left may experience when I talk about God, but that doesn't mean I should have to pay for their problem.
3) I don’t care if people agree with me in my belief that the constitution is based on Christian principles. It is up for their own private interpretation as far as I am concerned. However, I would like just one person to disagree with me when I say that the constitution was written by Christians. When they drafted the Constitution they opened the meeting with a prayer! Christians settled this nation when they sought freedom from the religious oppression that they faced in Europe. That being said, the only reason that we as a nation have ANY rights is thanks to the Christians that have granted those rights to us. I think we still deserve the right to speak if something makes us uncomfortable, and people had better be careful when they bite the hand that feeds.
So please, with this in mind, forgive me for not being more open to this new plight. Forgive me for not wanting to liberate a group of people while I have slowly but surely been repressed over the last decade by myopic left wing radicals who claim that they are just being fair.
The hypocrisy of the whole situation is just disgusting.

It's... A... GIRL!!!!!

2008-11-05T18:29:00.000-08:00

So we went to the doctor...
And we got an ultrasound...
And the decided since the region that we don't speak of had no telltale protrusions it must be a girl. That's right. A girl.
And since it's a girl we obviously cannot name her Brock.
And since we can't name her Brock we have to choose another name. We would like to thank everyone that contributed ideas for names back in the day. It was fun playing. We actually have a name that we like a lot. Of course we aren't going to tell. That will ruin the surprise.
In related news, we watched the election results last night, and after the first minute or so we saw the futility of our cause. Democracy proved once again how flexible a system it is by actually changing to a socialist system! Kinda like those frogs that can change their sex. You know, the ones that theoretically could procreate with themselves if only they could find a way to be both male AND female at the same time? Well that is how our government just transformed. If only Democracy and Socialism could peacefully coexist and procreate with each other, we might actually see this fantastic "Change" that Barack Hussein Amal Faqir Nathan Obama is talking about (I threw Nathan in there because, after all, he is a patriotic American. Just ask Oprah). Alas, Just like frogs reproducing within their own selves, this hybrid form of government only exists in a world made of candy canes and planes and bright red choo choo trains (yes, I stole that line from Bad Religion). Fortunately I did see one shining ray of hope from our country. That's right, both Arizona AND California defeated Gay Marriage. Honestly, who saw that coming.
Gays defeated, Girl on the way, healthcare for all, life isn't as bad as it could be.

On a related and more serious note, I am glad that I got to vote. Even though it didn't go the way I would have liked, at least I had my say. Too many will say that my vote doesn't really matter, because in the end, the electoral college will decide who gets sworn in. But saying my vote doesn't count is like saying that only the one that fertilizes the egg has any relevance. Personally, I find that ridiculous and I would have been ecstatic if any one of them had assisted in creating my little girl.

Is this what they feel like when they graduate?

2008-09-10T19:01:00.000-07:00

It is official, Reginald no longer looks like a toad. He/she has matured/grown/evolved/metamorphosed from frog to human. Don't believe me? Check the pictures. As a result, we have decided that in classic Native American tradition, Reginald deserves a much more adult name. Thus he/she shall henceforth be referred to as Gerald until further notice. Gerry for the boys, Geraldine for the girls. Our second appointment for an ultrasound was today and near as they can tell from what they could see is that Gerald is healthy and active. Growth is about standard, lots of movement and jumping around inside of Janette, and who knows why it matters, but the skin on the back of his neck is an appropriate thickness. What a strange measure of health for a little baby fetus. No official blood test have been done yet, but to this point there is a good feeling about it. And we of course are more and more excited every day. On a independent note, over the Labor day weekend, we took advantage of an invitiation to go jet skiing at Lake McConaughey in Nebraska. I won't go into much detail, but after a frustrating five hour drive, we actually ended up about 160 miles away at Curt Gowdy State Park half way between Laramie and Cheyenne Wyoming. Why is this significant? No real reason other than to point out that when it comes to camping there is no substitute for dutch ovens. And also to note that there is something magical about towing your wife behind a jet ski on an innertube at forty miles an hour. The screams of "SLOW DOWN!!!!!" and "AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!" are quite literally intoxicating. Although I could not get Janette to fly off, I think I was the winner of the day, getting her to let go after just a few minutes of riding. We are posting the video in hopes that someone will find it as fun as we (I) did. We feel that this was a day of maturation for Janette, similar to that of Geralds day today. I am so proud of my wife and my unborn thing.

The Pughs Inspire Us...

2008-08-17T21:16:00.001-07:00

We find ourselves more and more like the pughs every day. They were the ones to introduce us to "Ticket To Ride", so we bought it for ourselves. Now we play at night to. They got pregnant and had a boy named max. We are pregnant with a toad named Reginald. I'm gonna buy a "How To Be A Good Daddy" book just like Brian did... Everything they do or did, we do too. It's probably either flattering or creepy to them. I would go with creepy because I would feel weird if someone mimicked me like that.

In other news, Janette has discovered that Xbox live is not a creation of the devil, rather it has served her just as well as it has served me. See, she thought that Xbox live was exclusively for playing online. Little did she know that we could download and watch the seventh season of scrubs! Also worthy of note, and to my everlasting shame, we downloaded P.S. I Love You. Long story short, Janette cried for two hours straight and I rolled my eyes for the same period of time. The thing about the movie is that Hillary Swank is not that cute, and, sorry to all women who may read this, every guy with an Irish accent is not automatically a heart throb. The guy is GOOFY LOOKING. The best looking guy in the entire movie was the lady that played Hillary Swanks mom.

Not much else to update everyone on. Just make sure that if you have not seen them yet, go watch all of Michael Phelps gold medal races on nbcolympics.com. It is the best sports story in a long time and he is a guy that everyone can get behind. Absolutely amazing.

March 24,2009

2008-08-06T19:12:00.000-07:00

7 weeks and 1 day. That means that once we started trying, it was nearly instantaneous. The title of the blog? That's the due date. According to what we can see in the ultrasounds it would appear that we are going to have a toad. We will name it Reginald.
In all seriousness, we are very excited and can't wait for what family and friends will say. I am certain that nothing but advice will come pouring in, and rest assured, it will all go ignored, but hey, nothing ventured, nothing gained, right? Right.
We are also currently accepting offers for names, so post your favorite name in the comments section, and if we should choose your suggestion, there will be a processing fee of 250 dollars or the cost of a crib.
In other news we got a neat HD Video Camera and hopefully we will figure it out to the point that we can put video on here. Definitely not video of a child birth some 7 months down the road, the mere thought of that makes me shudder, but maybe video of our camping trip next week. We will see.

Can I have a break please?

2008-07-18T15:45:00.000-07:00

It never ceases to amaze that when it rains it pours. Don't get me wrong, I am not complaining, but whoever said bad news comes in threes was an idiot. Bad news comes in hoards. Start it out with our car. The stinking thing has been broken for months now, and nobody can seem to find the problem. I am fairly convinced that the mechanics that we had enlisted were just assuming that they knew what the problem was. I took it to a guy in Salt Lake City before we moved, he told me a loose hose. I took it to a guy in Denver, he told me a bad O2 sensor. I took it to the SAME guy in Denver and he told me the gas cap was just loose. I took it to a DEALERSHIP, who told me it was a solenoid valve. FINALLY we took it back to the dealership again and they told us, "Oh. There is a hole in the bell housing." NOBODY SAW THIS EARLIER?!?!?!? How does a hole in my transmission escape notice during diagnostics? Incompetence is rampant. Long story short, car has been in the shop for two weeks.
Then take our refrigerator. It decided that it wanted to stop working. So one day everything melts in the freezer, the next day everything freezes instantaneously in the fridge. End result? Nothing was saved.
Then take the little girl at church who we let wear one of our hats, not knowing that she had lice. That's right. We didn't find out until ten hours later that she had it and the hat was sitting in our closet during that entire time. We stayed up until 11:30 on a Sunday night grooming each other like chimps looking for lice. Then we bought a spray that is supposed to kill them, and then on top of that we fogged our room to kill them, good and dead. As if to add insult to injury, that same night our air conditioning decided to break! AT 1:00 AM!!!! Can this be any more ludicrous? Of course it can.
Three nights ago, getting something out of my parents freezer, I decided to drop a frozen piece of meat on my uncovered toe, and now it is entirely black and blue. And OF COURSE it is the toe that I injured playing basketball, you know, the one that has no nail? Yeah.
Now, I repeat that I am NOT COMPLAINING. It's actually really funny when viewed from the right perspective, which is that of somebody else. I would laugh at it if I weren't me. I suppose we deserve it. Do not ask me why, or what we have done, but there must be some reason. I probably deserve it really, and Janette just deserves it for marrying me.
It's been a fun few weeks. I hope everyone can have a good laugh at our misfortune. We only aim to please.

Rob's Computer Sucks

2008-07-07T22:47:00.001-07:00

Seriously, who on earth downloads 15 Trojan Horses onto a computer? What on earth could you possibly be doing on your computer, how many times can you say "Oh, I think I should click 'ok' here, even though I have NO CLUE what this program is"?!?!? Now I know that this is not all Rob's fault, considering he has four kids, all 18 or younger who don't think before clicking, but wow. Anyway, it's exactly 23:28 right now, and I am working diligently on getting all viruses, spyware, worms, and other such nonsense off of Robs computer. I have been going on it since 18:15 this evening. I really hope that when all is said and done his computer will run decently again. I do not want to have to format and reinstall.

I had a fun experience yesterday. I was in a bishopric meeting at the Denver 1st ward. Fantastic ward, good people, interesting doctrines taught there... As I was saying, I was in the meeting and in my minds eye I could see Ape-Bait sitting behind that bishops desk (if you do not know who ape-bait is, you are better off for it, I promise). Slack-jawed, mildly confused, glasses crooked, quarterbacking a team on to victory. The quarterback visual came from an absolutely amazing experience related to me by Scott, when Ape-Bait told him that he was watching football one Sunday and came to the realization that HE was the quarterback and that HE was not leading his team the way they should be led. That HE was responsible for his teams performance and that HE needed to step up and throw a bomb to the end zone, put one up on the ol' scoreboard for Radio and the other fans. I can't help but giggle to myself as I type it. Poor poor Ape-Bait.

Last but not least I have a thief at work. I cannot say whom, because that is defamation of character, but let's just say it's NOT me, and it's NOT Tommy, and it's NOT Rob, and it's NOT Billy, and it's NOT George, etc, etc... Well, one thing I can tell you is that it IS a bunch of crap. I hate thieves.

Weddings!

2008-07-06T06:23:00.000-07:00

Well those of you who know seth and I, or who just know me can tell that most of these blogs are written by seth. "How can you tell?" you may ask. Well its seths blogs, he has strange titles and all throughout the blog he speaks in a way that I would not. I enjoy having him write the blogs though because he is so much more entertaining. I just come on and give facts and tell fun stories. I always tell him he needs to write a book, we will see! Maybe someday. So I wanted to get on and tell you all how our trip back to Utah went. ITS WAS WONDERFUL!!! I was really excited to see my family and it turned out to be just perfect. For those of you who do not know, my brother (the last in my family to get married) got married. He is 27 and she is 28 and perfect in everyway for him. It was a beautiful wedding and the best part about it was that everyone of us was able to be there. I feel incredibly blessed to have the family I do. We are all very close and have always been so. Now I know we do have our bizzare moments but what family doesn't. Seth will for sure agree with me on that. But it is what makes us so fun. Ok so anyway moving on. The wedding was on the 25th of June in Salt Lake. We were able to take a week off of work and spent 3 days in SLC and then we drove to Manti to visit my parents. Yes they still live in St. George but they bought a summer home in Manti. It was so relaxful and manti really is a cute city. I could never live there full time but it was a pleasent place to visit. They are loving it!! The picture above is the good looking groom and his siter, just FYI. He is so happy and having him married completes our family, well aside from the grandchildren that are still coming from a few of us. Tata for now!!

Scott Calls Me Bad Words...

2008-06-29T17:48:00.000-07:00

So for anyone who is not aware, my "boss" is Scott. He's a pretty uptight guy. Got mad at me the other day when I insinuated that he might be a turd-burglar. For those of you who do not know, a turd burglar is obviously someone who burlges turds. I thought that would be a no-brainer.
Anyway, back to the story.
Scott has this mean streak a mile wide, that comes out every so often, and usually when it does I find it is directed at me. He calls me bad words, most of the time, and most frequently it is a five letter word starting with a B. Now this shouldn't bother me, but being the sensitive soul that I am, I find myself deeply disturbed by it. Even worse though, is when he tells me things like I have violated his trust or that he doesn't feel like we are as close as we once were. When he says these things I normally just brush it off as his usual feminine behavior, but it cuts me to the very core. I know that it is definitely not stress from work, considering that everyone at Quality pitches in and helps out like the outstanding folk that they are, and it's certainly not home life, because his wife Stacey is great, and his kids all a dream. I think Scott just deep down might be a horrible person. Not murderer horrible. But animal abuser horrible. The kind of person that they show on Animal Planet with a room full of dogs surrounded by their own excrement, and when you see the footage you think you would like to see in jail.
Thus Scott is the owner, and I am his dog surrounded by excrement.
It's hard to be treated like a dog day in and day out. You see, the thing about dogs is this... If you kick them enough, they start to think that they have done something to deserve it.
And so goes the story, I find myself sitting here blogging on my couch, wondering what I have done to incur the ire of Scott. All I have ever tried to do is get his attention and the occasional pat on the head, maybe, if I am REALLY lucky, a "Good boy Seth!"
This all being said, the only other question that I have is what the heck is an ancient Quality Tire truck doing in the middle of a crop field half way between Ephraim and Manti, Utah? Don't believe me? Look at the picture.

Happy happy birthday Jason dear...

2008-06-22T21:14:00.001-07:00

Happy days will come as long as you have ears!
Ok, so that is not the way that song goes, but I don't care. It makes me happy. We had a barbecue at the Carters and that makes me happy too. Except the part when I bit a bratwurst and it shot liquid hot magma all over my face. I'm glad nobody was watching because I am fairly certain that they would laugh had they seen it. Janette absolutely would have. She is good like that.
At the barbecue we got to coexist with many wonderful people such as Jessica (of course) Natalie and Russel, Courtney and Rock-o, Peggy, Tyler Vanderschaaf (who knows how you spell that fricking name...) and I SUPPOSE I will put Old Man Carter on the list even though I don't like him. He smells like moth balls.
Interesting side note question, nothing to do with a barbecue, but WHY on earth does national geographic send out those daggum videos that nobody wants, gives you two weeks to fall in love with it or return, and if you do not return it they charge you 25 dollars for a movie you would never in your life watch without being forced? Does this seem right? It actually seems like criminal delinquency to me.
That's really all we did today.
Yesterday we did hike Green Mountain. We kinda cheated by going up the back way. Apparently I am one of the few people that realizes that there are trails right off of a residential road that start you about half way up. In all honesty, it's probably better that we cheated because based on how wiped out we were when we got back, going all the way up and all the way back down would have killed us. Pudgy apparently is not becoming of hikers such as us.
Good Night Gorilla!

The Ramblings of a Disturbed Mind

2008-06-19T20:15:00.000-07:00

A disturbed mind in most cases is a gifted mind thats why I currently am going to write this without any punctuation I didnt come up with the idea on my own actually my gifted mind is not to create but to remember and i remember some stupid book from high school written entirely without punctuation Janettes mind is disturbed simply because i have made it so she often tells me that i have twisted her and turned her over to the darkside a compliment i take very seriously
having been in denver for just over two months we have learned a lot of things about each other for instance janette absolutely loves denver so much so that she wants to stay here forever prefferably in one of the rough neighborhoods so that our children can one day be beaten for their lunch money it will be a dream come true
Janette just called me bizarre for that last tidbit she apparently does not understand the true miracle of a lunch money beating she will some day
we finished watching the first season of lost again tonight walt got captured locke blew up the hatch jack is a turd burglar sawyer is still the best part of the show nothing we did not already know
the truth in this season that was uncovered to me but not to janette is that walt is the reason that polar bears are appearing on the island just remember my gift and this discovery will make sense
or not
we are going to utah on tuesday hopefully to see a wedding but anything can happen maybe we will go and do nothing more than have dinner at taqueria lolita you never can tell
4 8 15 16 23 42
bad numbers
night time has fallen bed time is calling its nine thirty and janette has become a zombie
happens about this time of night

We're BAAACK!!! better late then never!

2008-06-14T14:57:00.000-07:00

So Jess and Jason are over! Jason and Seth are doing what they do best, playing xbox and drinking mountain dew! Gotta love our men. And Jess and I are trying to figure out this whole blog thing. To update everyone, we moved to Denver about 2 months ago because seth received a job offer that we could not turn down. So even though i told him Denver was the last place on the planet I would move to.... ta da!! Here we are! Its beautiful and I am loving it so far so shows what I know. But I just am playing around on here and wanted to give this a test. So for now, chow!! I will update you all later!

29 January, 2007

2007-01-29T18:21:00.000-08:00

So going to bed early on the weekends when we don't have to work is not an option. In that case we end up crawling into bed at 1 or 2 in the morning which we are not use to anymore. At least i'm not. So by the time that we find ourselves tired and ready for bed, we don't think about the blog or atleast not wanting to write. So that is a long explained reason of when we havent written for the past few days.
Today is monday but it wasnt your typical Monday. For me it went by really fast. I got to work and did the night drop with Amelia (the new girl I trained at work) which took us a few hours. Then I ended up going in the back vault organizing the deposit slips which took me to lunch. Now at lunch today I went in for a interview for possibly a new job. Last friday a women came into the Bank that comes in everyday to make deposits for the Neuroligical office she works for. Told me an a opening and I asked questions about it and she took that as I am very interested! She called me the next day,(friday) and asked if I had thought about the job. WHAT JOB!!! I was so confused. I did not think that my question I asked the day before gave her the idea I wanted the job.
Anyway, I went there today to talk to them about the job. Found out they would pay me about 5 bucks more then I make now, which would put me up to 16 dollars an hour, plus its a administrative position and not so much customer service. The job is very intimidating though, it makes me nervous. I will be doing alot of praying and pondering about this. The only downfall is I can't have insurance for a year and I just signed us up for insurance. What if I get pregnant?
Yesterday at church, first day at new ward, so far so good. In relief Society I was sitting across from a girl my age with a pretty new baby. I watched then threw all of the meeting. A few minutes into the meeting I looked over at her with her baby and got nervous and a some butterflies. Then I got a little emotional. Let me repeat that, a LITTLE emotional. It was strange, and eversense I have been thinking about it and feel like I will get pregnant earlier then I thought. CRAZY!!!
We met a cute couple that are our age in our ward. They live kiddy corner to us. Elizabeth and Brian Pue. We found some friends, hopefully!
Saturday we finished up our apartment. We can use the kitchen table now and the living room is totally organized. Well pretty much, minus the impossible puzzle on the coffee table that we have been working on forever and a few other odds and ends. Well Seth and I are going to be watching "Lost" not sense we discovered we could download them from limewire. The most important discovery so far this year. Gotta run!!

25 January, 2007

2007-01-25T20:55:00.000-08:00

How is it possible that people do not understand that something like, say, a DUI DOES go on their MVR (Motor Vehicle Record)? Or maybe that having your license suspended SIX TIMES looks bad when you are applying for a job as a D-R-I-Ver. Do we not realize that this is like going in to apply for a mortgage after having filed for bankruptcy six times? Does it not seem to some people that MAYBE, and I mean maybe because who am I to say, they don't hand out license suspensions for outstanding deeds of civil chivalry? That they don't suspend your license for helping your elderly neighbor cross the street? These are not merit badges to hang on your sash at the next court of honor. They are red flags that tell ANYONE who pulls your MVR, "This person is the motor vehicle equivalent of a rapist."
That being said, you can probably guess what happened at work today. Blows my mind...
Janette had a wonderful day too. She went to the Social Security office, Early! Only to find people camping out and doing their thing. She had to wait TWENTY MINUTES!!! COME ON!!!! SHE HAD TO BE TO WORK IN TWENTY ONE MINUTES!!!! You know what they should do at the Social Security office? They should have someone hide, and when you walk in, they just punch you in the face. "Why did you bite my eye?" "'Cuz I'm a SNAKE!" (What did that have to do with anything? Nothing. But we like Dane Cook)
Janette is legally Janette Harrop-Jefferies now, minus the Harrop-. Just Jefferies. We are just making one big happy family up in hur.
After work, we decided to go marathon-style all over bountiful (ever see "Rat Race"? yeah.) looking for ATM's where we could get money out, because we had to pick up our wedding pictures. Homeboy lives in a pimp house. The pictures look great, and I am just so thrilled to have them. I could almost wet myself. They really do look nice though, and we were pleased with the work, but not thrilled with the price. I wish I could get paid lots of money to do my hobby for people, but then again, sitting on a couch picking my nose doesn't have much redeeming value within society...
We made it to bed earlier tonight. Hopefully we can wake up early tomorrow.
PEACE!

2007-01-24T21:16:00.000-08:00

It is so much fun to live a life of excess. It is something that people rarely get to do. But thanks to a recent influx of Bed Bath and Beyond gift cards, that is exactly what we got to do tonight. Fancy Faux glass cup for the bathroom with a metal base? Absolutely. Eight dollar cheese grater? Throw it in the cart! Collander that extends over the sink so you don't have to hold it?!? Your wish is my command! IRONING BOARD??!!??!!?? YOU BET YER SWEET BUNS MISSY! The crowning jewel of course was the way over the top fifty dollar vacuum cleaner we got. Now I know that fifty doesn't seem like much to some people, but that is totally 50 tacos from a taco wagon that we didn't get, so that is big news mister.
Honestly though, it was good to get some of these things. I really don't know how people survived before they had potato chip slicers on the side of their cheese grater. It's all a mystery to me.
As if this shopping spree was not enough, we topped our splurge off with a classy meal at DQ. That's right. Six chicken strips in a basket, french fries, and a couple of blizzards. We know how to live the life.
Now, we don't want people to go out and get all jealous of the fact that we bought nice things tonight, like, say, a soap dish, but we do feel the need to brag about the fact that we got Janette a body pillow so that she doesn't have to fall asleep clutching my thigh.
OK, here is where I need to clarify something by way of a story.
I'm a bit of a hot body. Janette is not. I need space when I sleep. Janette does not. Usually this is ok, but last night Janette needed to cuddle herself to sleep. Cool. Well, I fell asleep with a human blanket, and everything was good until about one in the morning. I woke up feeling like I was doing laps in an olympic pool. EVERYTHING was soaked. Like a big shaggy dog had dried off in our bed. Of course, waking up to a soaking bed, my first thought was... "Did I wet the bed?" I SO wish I was joking. So I touched a wet spot and then sniffed my hand. Conclusion: not urine, but I was not satisfied. I turned on the lamp, threw back the covers and looked at myself and then inspected Janette to make sure that there were no conspicuous stains. Luckily, it wasn't pee.
Moral of the story: Buy a body pillow for her to hold at night, and that way you don't sweat so much that you wake up feeling confused and insecure.
I REALLY wish that story were not true.
G'evening

23 January, 2007

2007-01-23T20:46:00.000-08:00

I'm BACK! After Janette so blatently IGNORED the news of the day yesterday, I feel it my obligation to inform you all of the most important thing to happen in years (aside from us getting married).
Carmelo Anthony came back into the Nuggets lineup. What a wonderful day for Nuggets fans worldwide. Allen Iverson and Carmelo Anthony on the same court, making sweet sweet music as they tore apart the Memphis Grizzlies. Those Grizzlies are so smug and think they are so great because they have some grubby spaniard as their leading scorer and best player. They think they are so great.
Today was a good day. I had nachos for lunch, Janette drank a mountain dew, we had baked potatoes and Top Ramen for dinner, we watched some show about Alexander the Great and switched back and forth with the State of the Union adress, and made a new year's resolution 23 days late, to go to bed early tonight. Great resolution.
We are working on working out. Sounds stupid, but it's the daggum truth.
Apparently it is a serious chore, to walk down three flights of stairs, and over half a block to the work out facility. We don't have to pay to get in, we don't have to spend a certain amount of time there. We don't even have to look at the equipment, we just can't make it. We are doomed to end up fat and out of shape. At least malnutrition will not be the cause of our demise. Of course, clogged arteries might factor in. Working on Working out. Motto of the month.
Be good, people of the world. We love you all
G'evening

22 January, 2007

2007-01-22T21:55:00.000-08:00

Alright, today is my turn to write a little something in our blog. I didnt choose the most exciting day to write though thats for sure. Ok so today is monday and a monday is truly was. Seth went to good old Quality Tire and I went to Wells Fargo.

Cam started today at Quality tire...whoever that is!! He doesnt seem to want to expand on that at all. As for me nothing really happened that is worth writting down to remember.

But I would like to take some time to brag about dinner tonight. I was planning it from the early afternoon and it turned into a masterpiece. "Ginger Spicy Chicken", with aspargus which cooked in butter, lime juice, and garlic salt. AMAZING!!!! I timed it all to perfection so everything was presented and ready at the same time. Well anyway its was amazing thats really all anyone needs or wants to know.

(SETH) "By timed to perfection do you mean that I would have time to get home, shower, shave, and start our laundry? And watch a little TV in there too???"

(Janette) "No!!!! By timed I mean making the food all finish cooking at the same time. So when one is cooking the other one is getting cold because you made it an hour before you started the next part of the meal!!! Honestly some peoples kids!!"

After dinner we had the opportunity to go and use our first class laundry utilities. The building is under construction so it doesnt look the greatest but it sure is large enough. In that room they probably have 15-20 washers and about the same number of dryers. We saw a girl from our ward who we met on sunday in the laundry room. We cant remember her name but she is a single mother who loves to complain about our apartment complex. We are not sure what bad hand she was dealt but we love these apartments so far. Minus the deliciouse aroma that welcomes you when you walk to our stairwell. The smell of sulfur and someones bodily fluids makes me want to vomit whenever I smell it. But putting that aside I really don't have all that many complants. I like it and I believe seth would agree. Other then laundry and dinner and work we watched a bit of "Everybody Loves Raymond" and some "ESPN". I put a handful of puzzle pieces together and Seth is about to go on a rampage with the Sudoko book puzzle he is trying to figure out. Other then those few events we are calling it a night to wake up and do pretty much the same thing the next day.

One side note, we can not seem to get to bed before 11:00 pm. No matter how fast we move after work we still end up crawling into bed about 11:30 everynight. Its the strangest thing! Well I will sign off for the night!

21 January, 2007

2007-01-21T20:38:00.000-08:00

WE SUCK AGAIN! We totally missed the majority of church today. See, the internet said that our ward did not start until 12:30 in the afternoon. Boy was it off. 9:00 AM folks... At least we were able to meet with the Bishop and fill out some new member paperwork. The bishopric and the people that we met seemed nice enough, but I really would have liked to go to priesthood and sunday school. It was ridiculous.

The good thing about today though, is that the Colts finally beat the Patriots to go to the Super Bowl. Peyton Manning is a stud and he deserved it. I hope that he can win it all.

While we watched the AFC Championship Game, we pulled out one of the three puzzles that we bought while we were on our honeymoon. It's a good one, with a cowboy trying to reign in a horse while his buddy watches. The funny thing, to us at least, and certainly not something that we noticed when we bought it, sort of an afternote thingie, is that his buddy is watching him while holding a deer's head. Who does that? He just randomly has a deer head in his hands. No body, no gun, nothing to suggest that this was a recent kill... Just happens to have a deer head. The puzzle is an absolute monster too. It took us almost the entire game (approx. four hours) to put together the border. Now, we are not experts, but neither one of us is exactly a slouch when it comes to puzzling, and by the time we threw up our hands in defeat, we were both puzzled out.

Dinner was great tonight. That whole Ham, Pineapple and Cholula deal I talked about. We cooked the ham for a long time, and it just fell apart in your mouth. It was a wee bit spicy too. Janette had a hard time with the sauce and with the pineapple, but the meat itself was great. As a desert, maybe five hours after eating, we decided to finally cut open a bit of our wedding cake. It's good, black forest, but a little rich. It needs a warning label. "Caution: Consume only with large quantities of milk."

What is it about dry sweets like cake and pie, that you just have to have milk with them? They just taste so much better. Kudos to the guy who discovered that if you pinch a cow's booby it shoots out delicious white liquid. He was one heck "SEE JANETTE?!??! I DIDN'T CUSS!!! YOU HAPPY?" of a guy.

We're out

G'evning

20 January, 2007

2007-01-20T21:46:00.000-08:00

That's Janette and Me. We got married about two weeks ago.

Being kinda lame, I decided that maybe we should start a "blog" of our lives and try to keep it updated. This is the start of something that may well be short lived, but let's cross our fingers and hope not. After all, we do believe in journals, and this is probably as good as anything. Maybe we could print these sheets up and keep them in a three ring binder and then bore the hell, er... (scuffling noises as Janette hits me) "OUCH! I MEANT HECK" (More scuffling noises) out of our kids one day with stories of our early married lives and how she put tons of pressure on me to stop cussing. Thank goodness I don't go through withdrawals like a chain smoker or an alcoholic when she takes my vice from me.

Janette probably thinks this is a cute idea. She just agreed with me.

Tonight we went to dinner at Tuscany with Derrek, Brandy, and Dareth. Dareth's wedding gift to all of us. Tuscany makes good pork chops. No doubt about it, it's the best cut of meat in town. For some reason Janette decided to NOT get the pork chop. That was too bad, because I did, and the pork chop ruled. If Dareth ever gets around to reading this Blog some day, thanks, Big Guy, for dinner tonight. It was great. Stay out of trouble sir.

Arranging the apartment is fun. Every time we do something, no matter how small, Janette says "It's FINALLY coming together!" She gets so excited about plugging things in, like our phone chargers, for instance. I think THAT's cute.

Anybody reading this, and reading all the jokes I make about her, probably think I am abusive and that we are dysfunctional. Those people are probably right. But love conquers all and love is all you need (sappy music in background).

We are going to our new ward tomorrow. We don't know what room to go into first, because sacrament is last. Should be a fun time. The new members are going to think we are retarded. Great.

Ham, Pineapple and Cholula for dinner on Sunday. Janette is going to be gassy... "OUCH!!! YOU DON'T HAVE TO HIT ME!!!!" Ok, I am going to be gassy. I am going to have to tuck the sheets in tight so none of that escapes during the night. I should loan her my gas mask for the evening. I do actually have one.

We are off to watch "Robin Hood: Men in Tights"
Should be enlightening.
G'evening